Labyrinth

This blogpost reads a bit like a journal entry, because that's what it is. I'm in my last 24 hours of pastoring Heart of Life Church, the church I've been connected to in one way or another for the last 13 years. Lots of things swirling around in my heart, as you might imagine.

There are seasons in life where God seems to speak in isolated moments.

A verse here.

A conversation there.

A quiet nudge you carry around for weeks before understanding why it mattered.

And then there are seasons where, suddenly, everything seems to rhyme.

That’s the only way I know how to describe what happened to me yesterday. 

For years now, I’ve kept a regular rhythm of personal prayer retreats. I’ll have explain the whole process in depth another day, but one piece includes thirty minutes of walking, listening, and worshipping through music. Yesterday, I decided to play a Spotify playlist called PoG Catalogue (made up entirely of songs Grace and I have written, recorded, and/or released over the last few years) while walking a labyrinth. Set to shuffle, I paid close attention to which songs surfaced when, and was awestruck by the thread woven through them all.

Here’s the list, and a note I quickly jotted down for each song:

Doors of Hope 

• wilderness, what’s next? listening for the Lord who makes deserts bloom.

Turn My Tears To Gladness

• not jumping into future hopes but sitting in the sorrow of the now, knowing in time God turn it into joy.

Glory Unto Glory

• immersed in the story of Jesus who entered into our death, becoming like him in his life....

Let’s Go to Town

• ...and that life is a life together lived honestly, vulnerably, openly.

Just to Know You

• my heartbeat from the beginning—my call to ministry: to know and become like Jesus… entered the center of labyrinth right as the words “I surrender all” were sung.

Stayed in the center a few minutes during this song:

Rivers to Eden

• gripped by line: “the soil where you’re planted leaves no room for life”

  • there is faithfulness in staying where God plants you and there is faithfulness in going where God transplants you…

• tears shed in parting trickle down and pool up together into rivers back to Eden’s restoration.

Arise

• This is where I broke the rules and took the nun's exit, transcending the lines of the labyrinth: spinning freely, conversing and laughing and dancing with God in the realization that this song is a co-write with Rachel Wilhelm, who I will be working more closely with as Vice President of United Adoration (more on this in a minute, but, get this: the song I entered the center with? A co-write with Jason Riel, worship pastor at Heart of Life).

I Will Follow

• accepting and resolving to keep going wherever God leads, going where he calls me, doing what he tells me.

Notes on songs:

• All except last are cowrites.

  • First song w/ Grace.

  • Next three songs represent three different writers from three different countries (Netherlands, Germany, Wales), signifying that this new ministry I'm entering is “further up and further in” (to reference CSL).

• HOL co-write on way into center.

• UA co-write on way out of center.

• Bookends (and exact middle) are Grace and me singing, that no matter who we’re partnering with season by season, this partnership remains.

• For any wondering, “Wow, that’s a lot of songs, how big is this labyrinth?” the craziest part is it’s not huge… I tweaked my back earlier in the week which forced me to slow my normal pace down, making the timing all the more intentional and divine. 

After those thirty minutes, my next phase in the retreat includes a time of Scripture reading. I was drawn to one passage: Ecclesiastes 11:1-6.

In sum:

• Be generous

• Diversify your efforts

• Don’t wait around for stuff to happen

• You never know what God will bless

• Sow that seed 

Love how the MSG translates v5-6:

Just as you’ll never understand 

   the mystery of life 

       forming in a pregnant woman, 

so you’ll never understand 

   the mystery at work 

       in all that God does.

Go to work in the morning

   and stick to it until evening 

       without watching the clock.

You never know 

   from moment to moment

       how your work will turn out 

           in the end.

All this, of course, with the whole point of Ecclesiastes in mind:

“The last and final word is this: 

Fear God. Do what he tells you.” (ch12:13 MSG)

Amen, I will follow. 

So, what does following Jesus look like now?

Well, for those who haven’t heard yet: beginning in June, I’m stepping into a new role with United Adoration—recruiting, developing, and supporting artist missionaries who cultivate creative communities all around the world.

If this story resonates with you, and you’d like to partner with us as we step into this next season with United Adoration, we would be deeply grateful for your support.

Because this is missionary work, my role is fully support-raised (meaning every conversation, gathering, retreat, creative project, and artist we serve is made possible through the generosity and prayers of others who believe in this mission alongside us).

If you’d like to give financially, support monthly, or learn more about the vision ahead, you can do so directly here. (Or, stop by the shop and pick something out.) Every dollar makes it possible fully devoting myself to this work possible.

More than anything, we ask for your prayers:

that we would remain faithful to Jesus,

sensitive to hear his voice,

filled with courage and humility,

and fruitful wherever he leads.

Thank you for walking this journey with us.