What's Mine to Do?

There have been times in my life when I've been so overwhelmed—didn't know the next step, couldn't tell you where I was going—and there have been moments of clarity where it all comes to a head and the exact next step just hits me.

Love that. Seriously, absolutely love when that happens. But.. most of the time? I have to keep showing up, and run myself through a specific exercise I've referred to now for over a decade now as my personal prayer retreat.

Nearly monthly, I go to a beautiful place, run through a roughly 3-4 hour process, and on the flipside, leave with clarity of what's mine to do going forward for the next month.

Think about it: with so much vying for our attention—clamoring for our hearts and our focus—is there anything better in life than knowing exactly what's yours to do?

Of all the incredible qualities about Jesus (his greatness, his glory, his insane ability to listen and get to the heart of a matter with just a word, all of it), perhaps what doesn't get enough airtime is how he knew what was exactly his.

How is it he would know to travel to this city or that one? to heal THIS leper, but not that one? To say THIS word now, not that word later? All of it, how? He tells us himself:

• he only does what he sees the Father doing (John 5:19)

• his food is to do the will of God only (John 4:34)

30 years he's a carpenter, then one day—POOF!—he enters full-time vocational ministry. That's the kind of freedom knowing what's yours to do can yield—nothing more, nothing less, nothing else.

So over the years I've practiced as close a thing to this as I know. Although there are variations to this personal prayer retreat, I'll share a version here with some journaled descriptions of each. Maybe it can help you as you discern what's yours to do!

So here's my flow:

30 minutes - Data dump

30 minutes - Worship through song

30 minutes - Walk through nature

60 minutes - Walk through Scripture

75 minutes - Work through 10 Questions/Schedule/Execute

15 minutes - Debrief

Basically, you block out a chunk of time (I like to set alarms on my otherwise silenced iPhone that go off at the designated times, this way I’m not glued to the clock wondering when to move on), and then just walk through each section.

The data dump is where I write out, on paper, everything that comes to mind for a full 30 minutes (whether it’s decisions, fears, secret sins, conversations I’m dreading, people’s names, deadlines, etc). I take a half hour to write it all out on paper, and then, let the paper bear the weight of it for awhile while I do the rest of my prayer retreat. When I get stuck and can’t think of anything, I pray the last two verses of Psalm 139 which say “Search me, O God and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me and lead me in the everlasting way.” Typically, before I’m done praying that, the Lord surfaces yet another few items that need to go on that data dump sheet of paper for a while. 

Then I worship through song... I’ll either have my guitar with me or find a piano somewhere and start playing and singing. Sometimes I’ll open to a psalm and make up a song up as I go. Other times, I just play music and let it speak for me. Now, if you’re thinking, “But I’m not musical, what can I do?” I’d say just get a Spotify playlist going, or play a cd or vinyl if you're retro. It’s versatile… just let the music play over you and sing along in this time of worship without the weight of all those things keeping you down. (For a real life example of me doing this with a Spotify playlist, give this blogpost a read. WILD.)

This is beginning the move us into a time of tuning our heart to hear our Father’s voice, which then leads into the 30 minutes of walking through nature, because the created world reveals our Creator. The reformer Martin Luther put it this way: “Our Lord has written the promise of resurrection, not in books alone, but in every leaf in springtime.” I just love that. It really echoes what Paul says in Romans 1, that God’s invisible attributes are clearly displayed in the world he has made. In short, the first evangelist in our world is nature. So go for a walk with open eyes & an open heart and listen.

Then, I spend an hour with an open Bible and walk through scripture. Not a bible app. I don’t need that distraction. A physical Bible. And it’s not something set in terms of what I have to read—I’m not prepping a sermon here or catching up on my bible reading. This time is just letting the Lord call to me in the moment and move me toward what he wants my heart to hear. 

Often I end up grabbing an epistle like Philippians, and reading it slowly start to finish. Other times, I’ll do this with one of the gospels like Luke or launch into an Old Testament prophetic book like Jonah or Amos. Without fail though, God has spoken specifically to something on my data dump sheet that had been really tripping me up. It’s such a powerful time, but it’s all about spending time with God without expecting anything other than simply being with him. 

Then I pull out these 10 questions (that I’ve collected over the years and adapted from a list on a blogpost I found years ago by Brian Jones where he similarly outlines his own personal prayer retreat) and work through each of them.

10 Questions to Refocus and Reprioritize your life:

1. What is my single greatest strength? (what has God gifted you—specifically—to do?)

2. What 3 decisions are causing me stress?

(If you’re not sure, just look back at your data dump sheet… you likely wrote it down before!)

3. What tasks/duties/responsibilities/situations are overwhelming me? 

4. What impassable roadblocks have me stuck?

5. If I could only do 3 things before I die, what would I want to do?

6. What committees/roles should I resign from or drop out of?  (Peter Drucker once said, “Efficiency is doing things right, effectiveness is doing the right things.”)

7. What deadlines/decisions/etc can I postpone?

8. Put together a To Do list of the remaining things from Data Dump.

9. What things on my To Do list can someone else do at least 80% as well as me?

10. Who can I invite to join me in accomplishing the rest of my To Do list?

(Alternatively, I've utilized these questions as well...most notably in August of 2025, in which I ended up outlining the exactly role I'm in before I ever had the language or understanding it could be a thing. As if God was birthing something in me, just over 9 months in advance...)

Try not to get so hung up on answering all the questions perfectly. They’re more of a springboard really. The first five questions are helpful in jogging your mind and getting it focused; the last five questions are more about processing your data dump sheet and working through it seriously till you’re left with a tangible To-Do list of where to go, what to do, and so on, that you then can commit to actually doing! Sometimes the takeaway for an item is simply to PRAY for it. That’s a win! Other times, it’s to talk with someone and invite them into doing something with you (or to delegate the task). Other times, it’s to cross something off your list entirely because it’s neither helpful nor necessary in light of what God wants you to do in this season. 

Whatever the case, the ‘schedule’ piece—back to the overall flow again—is all about putting those things in your calendar and setting deadlines. I’ve often found if it’s not on my calendar, it’s not in my life! And ‘Execute’ is about sending whatever texts/phone calls/emails you need to in order to get the ball rolling on those necessary conversations. (“Hey, let’s grab coffee. Here’s my idea on this, when can we talk? I think we need to talk about a succession plan in the coming months, when can we meet?” and so on.)

Finally, the debrief at the end is where you call someone & share with them what you learned and heard God saying. It could be your spouse, a mentor, friend, or whomever. And if you don’t have anyone you can share this with, then shoot me an email. I’m serious!

I believe so strongly in the importance of this last piece to the process, that if you do this and have nobody to debrief with, then please, shoot me a message anytime here because sharing is a vital way to solidify what you’ve gleaned and also gain some accountability to put in the work in the days and weeks ahead.

So there you go! If this helps bring clarity somehow into your life, amazing! And if not, well, at least you got to spend 4 hours with the Creator of the universe.

Sounds like a win-win to me!